When Should We Tell Our Son That He Was adopted?

The adoptive parents must determine what and when they will tell their children about their adoption. If you have good advice on how to raise and tell a child who was adopted. Before your children know the truth you can treat them very well a few days before, take them to a dentist in Tijuana Mexico and take a walk so that they feel psychologically prepared and happy.

Many adoption workers advise parents to introduce the word “adoption” as soon as possible so that it becomes a comfortable part of a child’s vocabulary and they tell a child, between the ages of 2 and 4 years, that is adopted.

Experts on child welfare believe that when children are adopted before age 2 and are of the same race as their parents, there is probably little to gain by telling them about their adoption until they are at least 4 or 5 years old. Before that time, they will hear the words but will not understand the concept.

The ideal time to tell children about their adoption seems to be between the ages of 6 and 8 years. By the time the children are 6 years old, they usually feel familiar enough to not feel threatened when learning about adoption. Preschoolers are still afraid of the loss of their parents and their love, and to tell them at that moment is too risky. In addition, there is some doubt about whether a child under the age of 6 can understand the meaning of adoption and be able to work cognitively through the implicit losses of knowing he was born in a different family.

Although it is obvious to adults, young children often believe that they are adopted or born. In telling them about their adoption, it is important to help them understand that they were born first and that all children, adopted or not, are conceived and born in the same way. The birth was first, then the adoption.

It is not recommended to wait until adolescence to reveal the adoption of a child. The disclosure at that time can be devastating to the children’s self-esteem and to their faith in their parents.

Children who were adopted when they were older than 2 years old, or who are of a different race from their adoptive parents, need to be informed about their adoption sooner. With older children, who bring back memories of a past, not recognizing those memories and having the opportunity to talk about them can reinforce the attachment problems inherent in changes in caregivers at an early age.

If your adopted child is of a different race or has very different physical characteristics from your family, you should be aware of the signs that he or she is aware of the difference. It is possible that your child has noticed or someone else has commented. You should explain to your child that the birth process is the same for everyone, but recognize that people from different cultures have distinctive physical characteristics and their own assets. Sometimes children who look different from the rest of their family should be sure that their parents love them and intend to keep them.